Compare and Contrast
We had a sub in Music Essentials Honors and Chemistry in the same day so I decided to do a little experiment on myself. Start with the same words “We find ourselves in a constant state of motion” two different times and then write and just don’t stop writing, write down the next idea I think of. I guess it was just to see how far my brain could stray…from itself.
Music Essentials Honors (1st Period)
We find ourselves in a constant state of motion. We never rest, we never do nothing. We dream, why? [Are] our dreams reality and our reality dreams? [Yes this point has been gone over so many times in history it is really just cliché to talk about it].
Am I really just walking in a barren wasteland and all my sense have failed me to the point where I think I am living, I make myself believe I am thinking but really all I’m doing is wasting away and my sense are some sort of drug that is keeping my brain alive for some purpose grater than the real and non-real world.
Why do social norms run our lives [again, cliché, I guess I can’t just type freely without being a complete hypocrite to what I get angered at every day] when we preach that everyone is different and we should all bask in our uniqueness but we must stop that uniqueness to be part of the social norm, don’t practice what you preach or else you [are dead].
To find this common ground is to conform, which is exactly what our brains tell us not to do by taking us away from the barren wasteland and putting us somewhere that we can flourish. Why do we create these things when our sole purpose is not to?
As a teenage whit male [in a middle-class family] you might feel so similar to everyone else you see, and I really do. To find one different thing about you is like striking gold. This is what makes me think of our brain putting us here, that glorious unique feeling of being one of 7 billion since that is what we came here for, we sometimes grip on to that feeling so tight we lose track of everything we gained, and it all goes down. You don’t try to find the needle in the haystack because when you do, what do you do next? Do you throw it back in and go through the process again? […] Or do you take it, the only one to find that needle in that haystack and hold it forever? What do you do with that? It never benefits you. So this feeling of individuality should be fleeting and [you must] move on to the next bit, just keep moving because that is really all we are here for.
Chemistry (5th Period)
We find ourselves in a constant state of motion, orbiting, walking, breathing, resting. We never do nothing.
We feel the closest we get to nothing is sleep. We dream when we sleep, in a sense, dreaming is more active than what we are doing in the day. The closest we ever get to nothing is the bare essence of something. When we are most active, we find nothing impossibly, that is when something is not probable or impossible. Nothing. That point will never be hit.
Back to dreaming, is ream reality and reality dream? [Yes this point has been gone over so many times in history it is really just cliché to talk about it] Is [dreaming] just a distraction from a more important activity that should be done at that point in time? Sleepwalking. Why does it happen? Are we being called by our subconscious to stop dreaming and start your way to nothing? Isn’t that state of our existence the quest for nothing? Is that why we wake up as soon as we are doing the absolute most we can do?
While dreaming am I about to do so much that I’m going to make an important discovery? That time is just the brains way of dealing with reality? That we happen in 0 seconds and our brain slows that down. (Credit to Ben, Serg, Scott, Taylor, and Sherman). The reason I think this is because time is the one common thing we all share. It binds us all to one thing we all have, it seems so un-structured. Yes it is scientifically proven that there are are 24 hours in a day/ 7 days a week/ 365 days in a year but what is science besides a bunch of arbitrary values put on words that try to explain three dimensions. How naïve is it to think that we can define the fourth dimension by using the three we [seem to know so much about].
We try, oh god we try, it’s like a doctor saying, “this kid is sick, I only know how to do chemotherapy and I might as well do that because there is a chance that he has cancer.” (That was completely plagiarized from someone, I can’t remember who though). Yes we can try but it is so much broader then the tools we have to work with so what is the point of trying? Am I going to make a different discovery? (Crossed out everything else I wrote)
So what did I learn about myself? Absolutely nothing about myself as a person, nothing about any of these apparently rhetorical questions I asked, but I did learn that tangents, even on a cliché subject like dreams becoming reality and reality dreams, can really explain the inner workings of ones brain, for me that is with arbitrary thoughts you can be more lucid and stay in touch with yourself that you’d let on.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Search for the Rays: Part V
The water is surprisingly warm for being about eight o'clock.
It is dark everywhere, all I can see are flashes of light from about thirty feet down where the scuba divers are swimming along.
I looked straight ahead and about 150 feet away I see a huge column of light and a ton of fish swimming around it. I swim over, slowly as if I am conserving my energy for some boost of speed later. Approaching the light I get hit by a few other snorkelers who don't seem to know what they are doing at all, some don't even have flippers. Amateurs.
Then I see the grand spectacle, in its entirety. The lights jutting up from the ground make a giant oval on the surface, swimming back a little ways, I see all of these snorkelers huddled around this oval, strangers to one another, making sure not to bump into any one.
I don't even care, I swim right up, get right in between two people (looking back on that I think they were holding hands, might have been newly weds, go me) and wait.
A minute goes by, then two. Sitting there, not taking my eyes off of the bottom of the ocean where manta rays were promised
Five minutes.
Eight minutes.
Ten minutes.
I almost lose my focus when I see her. Lefty*. So majestic, just gliding through the water like a synchronized swimmer. Every move looks so planned yet she changes direction like everything is whimsical, it's all a game.
Yet, it's not a game. At this moment, lefty is fighting for her life, trying to get all the nutrients she needs from microscopic animals. She has to eat a third of her weight (roughly 800 pounds) a day or she will die. This is her main feeding time. I thought she was not even interested in us hovering above and below her. I was wrong.
I'm sitting there, on the top of the water watching her eat, push these plankton into her mouth with her devil horns**.
Then Lefty did the unexpected. She was about Three feet below me and swam by and when I thought she was gone, she did a barrel roll, brushing up against my wetsuit.
I blinked, not believing my senses. A manta ray just touched me!? Actually essentially gave a lap dance.
This happened a few more times, with myself cherishing the moment even more ever single time. Then, with as much stealth as she came, Lefty had gone, down to the bottom of the ocean to find more plankton and check out the divers down there.
I got back on the boat speechless.
That's where this story is wrapped up, me rocking side to side on a 40-foot boat with my eyes wide as dinner plates and mind completely boggled. It was fun, I would recommend it and do it again if I ever got the chance.
Finally signing off this Hawai'i vacation
Bosque
*Lefty gets her name because her left horn (defined below) is broken and just kind of hangs there while she eats.
**The horns are essentially scoopers to help the flow of water into the Rays mouth
It is dark everywhere, all I can see are flashes of light from about thirty feet down where the scuba divers are swimming along.
I looked straight ahead and about 150 feet away I see a huge column of light and a ton of fish swimming around it. I swim over, slowly as if I am conserving my energy for some boost of speed later. Approaching the light I get hit by a few other snorkelers who don't seem to know what they are doing at all, some don't even have flippers. Amateurs.
Then I see the grand spectacle, in its entirety. The lights jutting up from the ground make a giant oval on the surface, swimming back a little ways, I see all of these snorkelers huddled around this oval, strangers to one another, making sure not to bump into any one.
I don't even care, I swim right up, get right in between two people (looking back on that I think they were holding hands, might have been newly weds, go me) and wait.
A minute goes by, then two. Sitting there, not taking my eyes off of the bottom of the ocean where manta rays were promised
Five minutes.
Eight minutes.
Ten minutes.
I almost lose my focus when I see her. Lefty*. So majestic, just gliding through the water like a synchronized swimmer. Every move looks so planned yet she changes direction like everything is whimsical, it's all a game.
Yet, it's not a game. At this moment, lefty is fighting for her life, trying to get all the nutrients she needs from microscopic animals. She has to eat a third of her weight (roughly 800 pounds) a day or she will die. This is her main feeding time. I thought she was not even interested in us hovering above and below her. I was wrong.
I'm sitting there, on the top of the water watching her eat, push these plankton into her mouth with her devil horns**.
Then Lefty did the unexpected. She was about Three feet below me and swam by and when I thought she was gone, she did a barrel roll, brushing up against my wetsuit.
I blinked, not believing my senses. A manta ray just touched me!? Actually essentially gave a lap dance.
This happened a few more times, with myself cherishing the moment even more ever single time. Then, with as much stealth as she came, Lefty had gone, down to the bottom of the ocean to find more plankton and check out the divers down there.
I got back on the boat speechless.
That's where this story is wrapped up, me rocking side to side on a 40-foot boat with my eyes wide as dinner plates and mind completely boggled. It was fun, I would recommend it and do it again if I ever got the chance.
Finally signing off this Hawai'i vacation
Bosque
*Lefty gets her name because her left horn (defined below) is broken and just kind of hangs there while she eats.
**The horns are essentially scoopers to help the flow of water into the Rays mouth
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Search for the Rays: Part IV
That night. Still indescribable but I'll try.
I get back on to the boat, my pulse slowing, but not much. I throw off my snorkel and mask and exclaim, "that was literally the coolest thing I have ever seen!" The veteran divers who were with us didn't seem too impressed, they must have seen it all before. Still, I couldn't believe my eyes, continuously slapping myself to make sure that what had just happened was real.
It was, a one ton under water bird was less than three feet away from me, mouth agape and all*.
It is only about five thirty when I got out and we aren't going back in until nighttime, I go to my favorite spot, on top of the boat. I sit there, eating my Macadamia nut cookie (provided by the crew) and drinking a cup of water, letting it seep around my mouth stinging my chapped lips.
Eventually, I let the gentle rocking of the boat lull me to sleep. I woke abruptly, my brother huddled over me telling me we have to be town in the cabin area to be briefed on our next dive: The manta night dive.
Now while I was sleeping, a bunch of dive boats from the same small boat harbor we came from anchored in our cove. By now, in this little cove, there were probably 200 people, all diving/snorkeling the same spot.
I had a quick conversation with my mom and the result is me saying, "how lame is that."
It seemed like it was lame, little did I know that the more people there were the better. See we were all taking flashlights into the water so that we can actually see while night diving/snorkeling, but what I didn't know was that the lights also attract plankton, which attract manta rays, what I'm there to see.
Mike basically tells us not to touch the mantas and we all say we won't, in that monotone voice, the kind kindergartners when they are not listening.
Finally he tells us we are allowed to go in but the only rule when we were down there was that we must always leave the flashlight on to make it easier to find in case you dropped it into the pitch black abyss that was below us.
I get my wetsuit on, easily, then getting my boots on were a little harder. I got my mask on, tightened it, got my flippers on, tightened them, and I was good to go.
I pull the flashlight lanyard around my wrist as tight as it can be, step onto the back of the boat, and make the plunge.
*It should be noted that Manta Rays cannot eat anything bigger than plankton, they are filter feeders, nonetheless, it's surprising to see it coming at you.
I get back on to the boat, my pulse slowing, but not much. I throw off my snorkel and mask and exclaim, "that was literally the coolest thing I have ever seen!" The veteran divers who were with us didn't seem too impressed, they must have seen it all before. Still, I couldn't believe my eyes, continuously slapping myself to make sure that what had just happened was real.
It was, a one ton under water bird was less than three feet away from me, mouth agape and all*.
It is only about five thirty when I got out and we aren't going back in until nighttime, I go to my favorite spot, on top of the boat. I sit there, eating my Macadamia nut cookie (provided by the crew) and drinking a cup of water, letting it seep around my mouth stinging my chapped lips.
Eventually, I let the gentle rocking of the boat lull me to sleep. I woke abruptly, my brother huddled over me telling me we have to be town in the cabin area to be briefed on our next dive: The manta night dive.
Now while I was sleeping, a bunch of dive boats from the same small boat harbor we came from anchored in our cove. By now, in this little cove, there were probably 200 people, all diving/snorkeling the same spot.
I had a quick conversation with my mom and the result is me saying, "how lame is that."
It seemed like it was lame, little did I know that the more people there were the better. See we were all taking flashlights into the water so that we can actually see while night diving/snorkeling, but what I didn't know was that the lights also attract plankton, which attract manta rays, what I'm there to see.
Mike basically tells us not to touch the mantas and we all say we won't, in that monotone voice, the kind kindergartners when they are not listening.
Finally he tells us we are allowed to go in but the only rule when we were down there was that we must always leave the flashlight on to make it easier to find in case you dropped it into the pitch black abyss that was below us.
I get my wetsuit on, easily, then getting my boots on were a little harder. I got my mask on, tightened it, got my flippers on, tightened them, and I was good to go.
I pull the flashlight lanyard around my wrist as tight as it can be, step onto the back of the boat, and make the plunge.
*It should be noted that Manta Rays cannot eat anything bigger than plankton, they are filter feeders, nonetheless, it's surprising to see it coming at you.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Search for the Rays: Part III
Right when I say them, my brain snapped into action. I furiously looked around for this ray, I knew it was a Manta. Even though it would have been there prematurely (they were supposed to come during the night for easy plankton feeding), I knew it was.
I looked all around, throwing my head side to side, free-diving to 20 plus feet, even taking off my mask to get a better view above the water because they could see it pretty obviously from the boat. I didn't see anything.
I was about to give up my search but I decided to take one last look before going into the boat. I glimpse to my left, nothing, I glimpse to my right, nothi -- thrashing. Thrashing around on the top of the water, must at least be something interesting.
My dad and I venture out, intrepid explorers on a mission. We find exactly what we were looking for. A baby Manta playing on the top of the water. We cautiously go over and he senses us (he can't see too well but knows we are there) and starts moving towards us.
When an animal that weighs about a ton makes a bee-line for you, you move out of the way.
I make a short free dive and even in the midst of all this excitement, remember to blow out during my ascent, careful not to pop a lung.
After that, the Manta swam away. My heart was pounding at three thousand beats a second, I couldn't even comprehend what had just happened to me. I had just seen a Manta ray less than three feet away from me, if only I knew that this little encounter was really only foreplay to the events that would happen that night.
I looked all around, throwing my head side to side, free-diving to 20 plus feet, even taking off my mask to get a better view above the water because they could see it pretty obviously from the boat. I didn't see anything.
I was about to give up my search but I decided to take one last look before going into the boat. I glimpse to my left, nothing, I glimpse to my right, nothi -- thrashing. Thrashing around on the top of the water, must at least be something interesting.
My dad and I venture out, intrepid explorers on a mission. We find exactly what we were looking for. A baby Manta playing on the top of the water. We cautiously go over and he senses us (he can't see too well but knows we are there) and starts moving towards us.
When an animal that weighs about a ton makes a bee-line for you, you move out of the way.
I make a short free dive and even in the midst of all this excitement, remember to blow out during my ascent, careful not to pop a lung.
After that, the Manta swam away. My heart was pounding at three thousand beats a second, I couldn't even comprehend what had just happened to me. I had just seen a Manta ray less than three feet away from me, if only I knew that this little encounter was really only foreplay to the events that would happen that night.
Search for the Rays: Part II
After a day of hiking all up and down craters from Volcanoes those will be talked about on a different post. Also the morning of the next day was taken up by the visiting of many different waterfalls and rope swings but that will be talked about on another occasion as well.
Anyways, getting sidetracked, after all that, I go on the dive boat a second time, this time to snorkel. At night.
We come out on the Mai Loa III, I sit on the top of the boat of course, the warm, humid, Hawai'i air whipping my face. I didn't care, I was a man on a mission, I was going to see Manta Rays tonight. We get out to the cove at about four, the Mantas come a callin' at about seven.
I snorkel around for about an hour, saw a moray, some long-nosed butterflies, triggerfish, nothing too amazing.
Then, as I'm swimming against the current back in, I nonchalantly look up at the boat and I see my brother, mother and mike all wide-eyed, making that trademark waving motion that was the signal for any type of ray.
Anyways, getting sidetracked, after all that, I go on the dive boat a second time, this time to snorkel. At night.
We come out on the Mai Loa III, I sit on the top of the boat of course, the warm, humid, Hawai'i air whipping my face. I didn't care, I was a man on a mission, I was going to see Manta Rays tonight. We get out to the cove at about four, the Mantas come a callin' at about seven.
I snorkel around for about an hour, saw a moray, some long-nosed butterflies, triggerfish, nothing too amazing.
Then, as I'm swimming against the current back in, I nonchalantly look up at the boat and I see my brother, mother and mike all wide-eyed, making that trademark waving motion that was the signal for any type of ray.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Search for the rays: Part I
Mai Loa III, that's all I see when I resurface from the depths of the ocean. I whip off my mask and the warm, salty air hits my face full force. It feels amazing. I climb up the ladder welcomed by Mike, the captain of the 30 foot boat that is the Mai Loa III. He takes my BCD and tank and I strip off the rest of my wetsuit. Of course I'm the only one on the boat, I had to go up first because I still have trouble with conserving my air underwater. If I see something amazing, I'll start breathing faster, taking those shorter breaths it what kills you. Thank god I saw something exciting. A scorpion rockfish. My brother, King Kenamehamehe, pointed it out to me while we were going down a hill per say. We both stop and look at it, me breathing hard, of course.
We were able to coax it to open up its fins and not stay glued to the ground, and oh what a sight it was. You see a fish that basically blends in with the rocks beneath you and then it has these dazzling orange fins, almost seems like you can't miss it. It swims away slowly and we just admire natures sheer beauty.
Almost seconds after the rockfish disappears, I hear the clank clank clank of someone tapping on the back of their tank, the universal sign to get someones attention underwater. We look towards our dive guide and she is making a waving motion with both of her arms and then points into the turquoise water straight ahead. An Eagle Ray. An animal that weighs almost a ton yet moves oh so gracefully in the water. It seems virtually impossible. I just saw it for a second, and then it was gone. That was the last I'd see of the rays on this particular dive trip, but definitely not the last on the whole trip.
We were able to coax it to open up its fins and not stay glued to the ground, and oh what a sight it was. You see a fish that basically blends in with the rocks beneath you and then it has these dazzling orange fins, almost seems like you can't miss it. It swims away slowly and we just admire natures sheer beauty.
Almost seconds after the rockfish disappears, I hear the clank clank clank of someone tapping on the back of their tank, the universal sign to get someones attention underwater. We look towards our dive guide and she is making a waving motion with both of her arms and then points into the turquoise water straight ahead. An Eagle Ray. An animal that weighs almost a ton yet moves oh so gracefully in the water. It seems virtually impossible. I just saw it for a second, and then it was gone. That was the last I'd see of the rays on this particular dive trip, but definitely not the last on the whole trip.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Learning the Dreaded Clutch
Pop. The car lurched again. Then engine turned off. My grandpa furiously got out of the passenger seat and motioned for me to do the same in the drivers seat. I reluctantly put on the emergency brake, unbuckle my belt and open the door to this 2000 Passat, a beautiful car.
"You're letting the clutch out too fast" My grandpa remarks
"Ok, lets just go home" I reply letting a hint of sadness enter my voice
"Forrest, I want you to try this one more time, I think you almost got it last time"
"Alright, this is the last time, and then I am done"
I get back in the car, slowly put my foot on the clutch, and test the gas, just to make sure it is working. I let the emergency brake off, hit the gas a little, and then let go of the clutch, ever so slowly.
I closed my eyes, (which is probably not the smartest idea due to the fact that I was driving) waiting for the trademark lurch that I had become famous for, but it didn't come. I finally had made a smooth start up.
After realizing what I had done to make this work, I wanted to try again. I break, putting the clutch down first of course, and then repeat the process. Same result. It was amazing, synonymous to childbirth, one of the greatest miracles of all time. I started learning the clutch.
Now of course there is all the other things that you need to learn, upshifting, downshifting, how to start on a hill etc. but that was all I was going to do today, a beautiful victory.
Forrest: 1, Clutch: 0
"You're letting the clutch out too fast" My grandpa remarks
"Ok, lets just go home" I reply letting a hint of sadness enter my voice
"Forrest, I want you to try this one more time, I think you almost got it last time"
"Alright, this is the last time, and then I am done"
I get back in the car, slowly put my foot on the clutch, and test the gas, just to make sure it is working. I let the emergency brake off, hit the gas a little, and then let go of the clutch, ever so slowly.
I closed my eyes, (which is probably not the smartest idea due to the fact that I was driving) waiting for the trademark lurch that I had become famous for, but it didn't come. I finally had made a smooth start up.
After realizing what I had done to make this work, I wanted to try again. I break, putting the clutch down first of course, and then repeat the process. Same result. It was amazing, synonymous to childbirth, one of the greatest miracles of all time. I started learning the clutch.
Now of course there is all the other things that you need to learn, upshifting, downshifting, how to start on a hill etc. but that was all I was going to do today, a beautiful victory.
Forrest: 1, Clutch: 0
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